Title: Christmas Risk assessment Notice Post by: mobileman on December 17, 2013, 11:50:03 AM CHRISTMAS RISK ASSESSMENT: All employees planning to dash through the snow in a one horse open sleigh, going over fields whilst laughing all the way are advised that a Risk Assessment form MUST be completed before embarking on the journey. The assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to employ only one horse for such a venture, considering the slippery surface and the number of passengers being carried. Benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available for use by those shepherds planning or being required to watch their flock by night (usual overtime rates can be claimed). Use should also be made of available technology, eg CCTV cameras monitored from a centrally heated shepherd observation unit (SOU), now available on rental. The Angel of the Lord is additionally reminded that, prior to shining his/her glory all around, he/she must first give adequate warning of such shining, and make sure all recipient shepherds are adequately protected against the harmful effects of UVA, UVB, radioactive materials etc plus the overwhelming effect of Glory. Following last year's well-publicised case, everyone is advised that the Equal Opportunities legislation prohibits any comment with regard to the colour of Mr R Reindeer's nose. Also, the exclusion of Mr Reindeer from any community games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against offenders. While it is acknowledged that gift-bearing is a common practice in various parts of the world, everyone is reminded that the bearing of gifts is subject to the Hospitality Guidelines and Taxable Benefits in Kind Act Sec 21(2.1.iv) and all gifts must be registered with Her Majesty's Customs and Revenue Inspectors. It is particularly noted that gifts involving gold are specifically prohibited under the Gold Trading Act Sec 4 (13.ix) and other substances may be subject to the Mis-use of Drugs Act and all parcels, boxes, packets etc will be searched by the sniffer dogs. Please be aware that a Risk Assessment form must now be completed by all those undertaking Father Christmas duties, in particular the Air Speed Restrictions Act, the Maximum Weight Allowance for Sleighs Act and the Feeding and Watering of Employed Reindeer Act, not to mention, of course, the Permitted Night Working Hours Act. Happy Christmas ! Title: Re: Christmas Risk assessment Notice Post by: NewStarter on December 17, 2013, 03:00:35 PM Nice one mobileman.. ;D
Title: Re: Christmas Risk assessment Notice Post by: Graham on December 17, 2013, 03:19:05 PM Yes, very amusing!!! ;D ;D ;D
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