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Author Topic: Christmas Risk assessment Notice  (Read 3104 times)
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mobileman
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« on: December 17, 2013, 11:50:03 AM »


 
CHRISTMAS RISK ASSESSMENT:

        All employees planning to dash through the snow in a
        one horse open sleigh, going over fields whilst
        laughing all the way are advised that a Risk Assessment
        form MUST be completed before embarking on the journey.

        The assessment must also consider whether it is
        appropriate to employ only one horse for such a
        venture, considering the slippery surface and the
        number of passengers being carried.


        Benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now
        available for use by those shepherds planning or being
        required to watch their flock by night (usual overtime
        rates can be claimed). Use should also be made of
        available technology, eg CCTV cameras monitored from a
        centrally heated shepherd observation unit (SOU), now
        available on rental.

        The Angel of the Lord is additionally reminded that,
        prior to shining his/her glory all around, he/she must
        first give adequate warning of such shining, and make
        sure all recipient shepherds are adequately protected
        against the harmful effects of UVA, UVB, radioactive
        materials etc plus the overwhelming effect of Glory.

        Following last year's well-publicised case, everyone is
        advised that the Equal Opportunities legislation
        prohibits any comment with regard to the colour of Mr R
        Reindeer's nose. Also, the exclusion of Mr Reindeer
        from any community games will be considered
        discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken
        against offenders.

        While it is acknowledged that gift-bearing is a common
        practice in various parts of the world, everyone is
        reminded that the bearing of gifts is subject to the
        Hospitality Guidelines and Taxable Benefits in Kind Act
        Sec 21(2.1.iv) and all gifts must be registered with
        Her Majesty's Customs and Revenue Inspectors. It is
        particularly noted that gifts involving gold are
        specifically prohibited under the Gold Trading Act Sec
        4 (13.ix) and other substances may be subject to the
        Mis-use of Drugs Act and all parcels, boxes, packets
        etc will be searched by the sniffer dogs.

        Please be aware that a Risk Assessment form must now be
        completed by all those undertaking Father Christmas
        duties, in particular the Air Speed Restrictions Act,
        the Maximum Weight Allowance for Sleighs Act and the
        Feeding and Watering of Employed Reindeer Act, not to
        mention, of course, the Permitted Night Working Hours
        Act.

        Happy Christmas !

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NewStarter
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« Reply #1 on: December 17, 2013, 03:00:35 PM »

Nice one mobileman..  Grin
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Graham
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« Reply #2 on: December 17, 2013, 03:19:05 PM »

Yes, very amusing!!! Grin Grin Grin 
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